So, this is my 250th blog post and perhaps the most difficult to write. My first post was published on December 17, 2009. Three years and six days ago. I felt so excited. So optimistic about what was about to occur. And boy has it been a great ride….mostly…..I think? Since then this blog has been view 31, 431 times and counting.
I think is is fair to say that I succeeded at least as much as I failed. My dream was to become an Italian Chef. A strange dream for sure but still it was my dream. And, I did it. I have owned my own Italian Restaurant, Calle’s Cucina, a white tablecloth-BYOB establishment in Baltimore Maryland. I succeeded in becoming an Executive Chef of a Italian fine dining restaurant, Della Notte, also in Baltimore. A job I really loved but learned within a few months I just could not do.
After 3 full months of long days in the kitchen, exactly what I had single mindedly prepared for for 2.5 years at that point, I crashed. Crollare, krascha, absturz, s’effondrer. Total and complete. Finished. I had reached my limit. I was utterly exhausted, consumed, kaputt.
My 54 year old body and mind just could not keep up the necessary pace. I learned, once again, that whether I like it or not, I have limits. Shit, shit, shit. But I cannot dwell on the past. I cannot “rest on my laurels”.
An idiom, right Giulia, which means “to rely upon past achievements and successes and not continue to work to achieve new things or new successes”. And I cannot let my sense of failure defeat me.
I have spent the past couple of months recovering and reflecting and my best alternative, seeing as though I have spent all my money and then some on this endeavor, seems to be to go back to that which I left. During the past few weeks I have rented an office in Olean, New York, my home town where I practiced law and mediation for over 25 years and on January 2 or 3 I start again at what I vowed I would not return to. I am in a corner and I need to fight my way out, namely, I need to earn some serious coin to get back on my feet.
I have built two websites during the past couple of week. www.vahllaw.com and www.peacemakermediation.orgto market myself and away I will go.
While this development feels like a defeat there are a number of benefits. I will be able to spend time on and financially support the Niger water well project and once I pay off a few debts I will be able to travel again which is something the commercial kitchen world typically doesn’t permit.
And, something that I will never loose is that I am a pretty good cook.
As they say, “the measure of a person is not how many times they get knocked down, but rather, how many times they get back up. And, I am getting back up again. I will get back on the horse and ride. My sense of being a failure will diminish in time and if I heed my limitations who knows what is in store………… to be continued.
PS. Anyone need a will, divorce, corporation or want to sue someone? Call me.